Where Is My Therapist?

I could have talked to my therapist yesterday by phone. She's not on vacation. But this week I decided to forgo an appointment. That may have been a mistake. . .

So I turn to a rerun from eight years ago, For When Your Therapist Goes on Vacation. I think I'll be focusing on humor for the next few weeks. Keep coming back! If you've got any good jokes, put them in the comments (click on the little envelope icon at the bottom.)


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I have two therapists and they were both on vacation the week I got home from my mother's funeral and all those issues and all the family and all those issues. And still on vacation the week after that! My brother-in-law subbed - thank you, Darryl - with the following email. I offer it as a resource for when your therapist picks a lousy time to go on vacation.

For extra entertainment value (my entertainment, anyway), I have identified which ones I hear Michael telling me with >>, and which ones I hear Liz telling me with **. One of them regularly irritates me. I'll let you guess which. Irritating or not, I have to keep both, because the double-teaming seems to help.


Wisdom Learned From the Seat of a Tractor


Your fences need to be horse-high, pig tight, and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

**Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

Meanness don't just happen overnight.

>>Forgive your enemies; it messes with their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

**It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

**Every path has a few puddles.

>>When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

**Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.

>>Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good and honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

**Don't interfere with something that ain't bothering you none.

>>Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

>>If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

**>>The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every morning.

>>Always drink upstream from the herd.

>>Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and leave the rest to God.

Don't pick a fight with an old man.
If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

And finally...


That's me, waiting for next week's appointment...


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Seriously, if you need help now, NAMI has a crisis text line going 24/7 at https://www.crisistextline.org/ 

Their HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET.1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org

And suicide helplines and other resources from my page are here.

Keep your stick on the ice. We're all in this together.

photos ripped from an email.  I have no idea where they came from

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