What People with Depression Need to Hear

Depression is one tough condition. Contrary to those cheery ads on tv and friends who want you to get over it, it is not easy to recover. Doctors also, in their eagerness to get you to do something that will help, sometimes oversell their solutions.

Chris Aiken's recent article in Psychiatric Times presents a more helpful picture.

Five Things to Say to People with Depression

You can expect, and do deserve, a full recovery. Aiken's point is that people with depression have a hard time believing we will ever feel any differently. (This is true. Boy, is this true.) Nevertheless, chances are, we will feel better. There is a rub here however. Most people get to full recovery, not all. As a patient, I'd like to hear up front that even if it comes back, chances are that things will get better again. So many of us feel like failures when depression recurs, when actually both remission and recurrence are part of the natural course of the illness.

Misconceptions about Antidepressants

What do you think are the most common misconceptions about antidepressants?

Prozac Monologues: A Voice from the Edge is at the press kit stage with Q&A in development. My publicist wants me to answer questions that interviewers might ask. My responses should be in the three to seven sentence range, she says.

Three to seven sentences are not my forte. I am doing my best and taking comfort that in an interview format, there might be a follow-up when I can say more.

They are good questions and worth a blog series, I think, where I can expand to three to seven paragraphs. Mostly seven. Maybe more. Plus, you know, pictures. So that's what you get for a few weeks.

No, antidepressants are not happy pills

Grief/Depression IV - Not the Same/Maybe Both

So a woman goes into the doctor's office, three weeks after her husband died. I got through the funeral just fine. But now I feel awful. There is this ten ton weight on my chest. I'm exhausted; I don't have the energy to wash the dishes. I'm trying to pack up my husband's things, and I am too weak to pick up his shoes. I can't eat. Sometimes I get hit so hard with this wave of anxiety, I think I'm going to throw up.

What are the chances the doctor will say, Of course you feel awful. These are all very natural symptoms of grief. You just need time. But if you still feel like this a month from now, call my nurse and set up an appointment. What are the chances the doctor will not pull out the stethoscope and listen to her chest?

Answer: It depends on whether the doctor is stupid.

Or a psychiatrist.

These are classic symptoms of heart disease. There is significant overlap between the symptoms of heart disease and the experience of grief. But there is no Bereavement Exclusion for a diagnosis of heart disease. Instead, family physicians and cardiologists take the time to examine whether the person presenting these symptoms may have both.

Grief/Depression III - Telling the Difference

Once, when I was seriously under and still headed down, a friend said to me, There have been times in my life when I was sad, so sad I couldn't imagine being any sadder. But it seems that what you and others with depression are describing is a whole different level that I know nothing about.

See, that's what would be helpful, instead of, I know just how you feel. I remember when [fill in the significant loss]... I knew that he knew times of deep sadness, because I knew some of those times, and because he is a person is thinks and feels deeply. And listens deeply. Everyone should have such a friend.

It was Social Hour. We were in a corner to protect me from all those people being social. I leaned against a wall, because I was very tired. I guess the wall gave me the idea. I said, Yes, there are times I have been so sad I couldn't imagine being sadder. It's like the sadness became a wall I could lean against, because I was so tired. But Depression IS different. Imagine if the wall gives way. Imagine there isn't a limit. You lean and the wall gives way.

I Told Them I Was Sick - DSM Revisited

Have you heard about the man whose tombstone read, "I told them I was sick"?

A New Diagnosis Or Two

So, the docs earned their big fee and the Pension Fund got its money's worth out of this three-day psychiatric evaluation.  I have a couple new diagnoses.

That is really not so remarkable.  If you attend a Peer to Peer course, NAMI's signature ten-week self-help program for loonies, you know this.  One week, the participants go round the circle and tell their diagnoses, or rather, their history of diagnoses.  Most trace a whole tour through the DSM, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual.

Where Diagnoses Come From

Sleep -- The Real Antidepressant

Your sink has backed up three times in as many weeks.  This time the plunger won't work, and it's beginning to stink.

The hardware salesman says you need a new garbage disposal -- $169.00.

Your plumber takes the pipes apart and clears the plug.  Depending on the plumber, she might show you how to do it yourself next time.  (My plumber is a woman.) -- $60.00 in my neighborhood.

Your brother says, stop putting banana peels in the garbage disposal.  (My brother owns rental property, and tells me what the plumbers almost always find in the plug.) -- $0.00.

The hardware salesman says a better garbage disposal could handle banana peels, and whatever else might also be causing that plug -- $249.00.

All of them are trying to help.  Each of them is working with the tools at his/her disposal.

Okay, now let's look at your depression.

Remember last week's list?

DSM On Depression -- The Chinese Menu

Mental Illness Awareness Week -- One Year Later

A year ago, Prozac Monologues was just crawling, six months old.  I was new to this disability experience.  And NAMI Johnson County was new to me.

I am not sure how Della McGrath decided I was literate.  Maybe I had given her my card, and she read some of the blog.  But she asked me to speak at a candlelight vigil, to remember those who have died from mental illness, give courage to those who hope to survive it, and support to those whose loved ones did not.

The great thing about NAMI -- if able is always part of the contract.  So I could say yes, even when we were using sedation in place of hospitalization.  And hope for the best.

As it turns out, God gave me a window, and I was able to say what is written below.  It is reposted from October 3, 2009.  It is a bit out of date.  Once I was on disability, I could explore and admit to a better diagnosis, bipolar II, in place of major depressive disorder.  Bipolar is a disease with more stigma than vanilla depression.  And hardly anybody has ever heard about bipolar II, so they think the worst.  But now that I wasn't working, stigma didn't matter so much.  And I could let myself take the best bipolar II medication.  I knew its side effects would make my job impossible.  But that didn't matter anymore, either.

The year since has not been an easy one.  But I am still here.  And so, amazingly enough, is Prozac Monologues.  You, dear readers, give me a life that begins to replace the life I lost to this illness. 

Mood Disorders -- Tolerable, Bad and Downright Ugly, Part I

A friend recently asked me for a short description of the difference between Major Depressive Disorder and Bipolar II. I didn't keep it short.  This will not surprise my regular readers, and warn my newer ones.

But here is the short answer.  Normal mood cycles within a normal range, sad/okay/glad.  Major depression has bigger distances, between normal and really sad.  Bipolar has the biggest distances.  Bipolar I ranges from really sad to really really up, with more time spend down than up.  Bipolar II moves the base line down from bipolar I.  It goes up, though not so far, and way, way down, lower than the others.

There are other aspects to mood disorders, affecting thought, desire, motivation, energy, sleep, digestion, appetite and even physical pain.  But this astonishingly short answer says way more than your common perception that depression means you are sad; bipolar means you are crazy.

Since I regularly write about these and the other mood disorders in Prozac Monologues, it may be helpful to give the longer answer here.  So today begins another three-part series.  I do seem to like these three-part series.  Things stretch out when I want to make Prozac Monologues both clear and entertaining -- though I suspect that it's mostly people with diagnoses who get the entertaining part.

Depression and the Nobel Prize

It was an irresistible title. I followed the link to the New York Times and found the October 21, 2008 story by Tara Parker-Pope, about Dr. Douglas C. Prasher, a biochemist whose early work contributed to what would later lead to a Nobel Prize -- for somebody else.

Prasher has recurrent major depressive disorder. Today he drives a courtesy van for a car dealer. He says there was more to his departure from science besides his depression, lack of funding, family obligations... But that is part of the story. Depression doesn't help you find funding and meet family obligations. Depression can turn tying your shoes into a challenge. Parker-Pope wrote, "I find Dr. Prasher’s story to be a notable reminder of the toll depression can take on the lives and careers of many brilliant minds."
I told the story to Helen this afternoon, ending in my most dramatic mode, "I coulda had a Nobel Prize!" She didn't let me laugh it off, "Well, you coulda had a PhD. You coulda been bishop of... or rector of..."

OMG!!! That's What They Said!

First, how did I ever start reading so much about depression, medication and the brain, the topics of Prozac Monologues?  Well, it was after I took two antidepressants that made me crazy and one that made me sad.  Then I was back in a psychiatrist's office, and she said, You have to weigh the costs and benefits.  And I took her seriously. 

But the information she gave me and that I found on the prescription information sheet wasn't very much information at all, not the kind that would have helped me when I was taking the antidepressants that made me crazy.  I knew this because I had read them, and they didn't help me.  I will write more about this some other time. 

The Language Of Doctors And Scientists 

Thank You For Being My Friends

Try this experiment on yourself.  Imagine that you are standing at the base of the hill.  What do you see, smell, hear?  Put yourself in this picture.  Are you with anybody?  If so, who is it?  What is your relationship like? 

Now, tell me. How steep is the hill?  Really steep?  Sort of steep?  Not so steep? 

Friends And The Perception Of Difficulty 

I Am Not SAD

What month has the highest rate of suicides in the northern hemisphere?  What about the lowest? You will find the answer at the end of this post. 

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Some people get depressed in the winter.  Along about October or November, they start to feel lethargic.  They want to sleep a lot.  They crave carbs and gain weight.  They may lose interest in their normal activities, not want to see people, feel hopeless, think about death.  The deeper the winter, the sadder they feel.  In April, they start to feel better, regain their energy, and even feel giddy by the time May comes round.  It happens almost every year.

This is a specific kind of Major Depressive Disorder called SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder.  It is no fun.

In The Beginning

In the beginning I went to my doctor for a med check. I had been on Prozac for three months. I was anxious and agitated, irritable, couldn't concentrate and couldn't sleep. I thought I needed a higher dose.

I was wrong. 

As I walked in the door, I had a thought. It was more intrusive than a fantasy, and less welcome. Never mind for now what it was, but it involved a nail file... I didn't tell my doctor about this thought. I just got my higher dose.

That is when things started to get really bizarre. 

The Birth Of Prozac Monologues 

A short while later, while coming off Prozac, I tried to imagine how I could tell people about what it was like to have to come off Prozac. The only medium that seemed appropriate was the stand-up comedy routine.

And that was the birth of Prozac Monologues, with its first chapter, Bizarre.

Someday, Prozac Monologues will be available to the purchasing public. For now, come here to find out about depression and its treatment, drugs and research, the brain and its wonders.

Welcome -- Willa

photo modified from original by Tom Varco

reformatted 11/26/10