Showing posts with label bipolar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bipolar. Show all posts

Circadian Rhythms and Fixing Bipolar's Wonky Clock

When nothing else worked, Social Rhythms Therapy got my bipolar under control. That's why Ellen Frank is my mental health hero. She invented it.

A few years ago, I spent four weeks summarizing Frank's book, Treating Bipolar Disorder: A Clinician's Guide to Interpersonal Social Rhythms Therapy. My goal was to create a patient's guide. Here is the link to Part Four. It includes links to the earlier posts.

Frank describes Interpersonal Social Rhythms Therapy like this: IPSRT [is] a treatment that seeks to improve outcomes that are usually obtained with pharmacotherapy alone for patients suffering from bipolar I disorder by integrating efforts to regularize their social rhythms (in the hope of protecting their circadian rhythms from disruption) with efforts to improve the quality of their interpersonal relationships and social role functioning.

Circadian rhythms are at the core of IPSRT. People with bipolar have difficulty maintaining the stability of our circadian rhythms, because our internal clocks, governing everything from sleep cycles to blood sugar levels to body temperature are, well, wonky.

Mental Illness Podcasts: Teaching and Tickling the Mind

I have to move a lot to manage my anxiety disorder. So why did it take so long for me to discover podcasts? I can do research and fold laundry at the same time! Here are four of my favorites:

My therapist recommended The Hilarious World of Depression, hosted by John Moe, a few years ago. And I recommended it to you as part of my Giving Thanks series last November. A depressive himself, John interviews comedians, musicians, and other celebrities, asking the question, Is depression funny? Not everybody thinks so, but that's my brand. The show was recently cancelled. Sigh. But with five seasons, that's a lot of bingeable laughter to come your way. And you can often find Youtubes of the featured comics to extend your pleasure. So have at it.

I should mention that John has just published his memoir by the same name, for when you can sit still and read.

I discovered Beyond Well, hosted by Sheila Hamilton after reading her memoir about her husband's undiagnosed bipolar and subsequent suicide. It is the cautionary tale and not so funny version of my book. Well, she wrote hers first, but I don't want to say I wrote the funny version of hers. It's not always funny.

What People with Depression Need to Hear

Depression is one tough condition. Contrary to those cheery ads on tv and friends who want you to get over it, it is not easy to recover. Doctors also, in their eagerness to get you to do something that will help, sometimes oversell their solutions.

Chris Aiken's recent article in Psychiatric Times presents a more helpful picture.

Five Things to Say to People with Depression

You can expect, and do deserve, a full recovery. Aiken's point is that people with depression have a hard time believing we will ever feel any differently. (This is true. Boy, is this true.) Nevertheless, chances are, we will feel better. There is a rub here however. Most people get to full recovery, not all. As a patient, I'd like to hear up front that even if it comes back, chances are that things will get better again. So many of us feel like failures when depression recurs, when actually both remission and recurrence are part of the natural course of the illness.

Misconceptions about Antidepressants

What do you think are the most common misconceptions about antidepressants?


Prozac Monologues: A Voice from the Edge is at the press kit stage with Q&A in development. My publicist wants me to answer questions that interviewers might ask. My responses should be in the three to seven sentence range, she says.

Three to seven sentences are not my forte. I am doing my best and taking comfort that in an interview format, there might be a follow-up when I can say more.

They are good questions and worth a blog series, I think, where I can expand to three to seven paragraphs. Mostly seven. Maybe more. Plus, you know, pictures. So that's what you get for a few weeks.

No, antidepressants are not happy pills

Major Depression and World Bipolar Day

Your diagnosis is major depression. So what does World Bipolar Day have to do with you?

I mean, what a relief to just have major depression, right? Isn't bipolar another level of crazy? Well. . .

First, a reality check. Whatever level of crazy you are now, you can call it whatever you want, your mental health struggles will not get worse if your diagnosis changes. Actually, you might get better. I'll get back to that.

A Common Struggle - A Review

In A Common Struggle, Patrick Kennedy tells the story that only he can tell.

There are many memoirs of depression, bipolar, co-morbid substance abuse, families that keep secrets, and recovery. Lately there are memoirs that combine a personal story with a cause: get help, get the right diagnosis, find people who can support you, advocate for better treatment.

Kennedy's unique perspective is the insider's view on the long-term national political work of improving mental health care.

Holiday Shopping for Your Diagnosed Someone

Black Friday, the traditional start of the Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa shopping season has left us in the dust. Are you still wondering what to get for your neuro-diverse friend or relation? Here is Prozac Monologues' attempt ever to be helpful to my dear readers.  As my therapist said, Virgo -- your destiny is service.  Get used to it.  (I once had a therapist who said stuff like that.) The following is a holiday shopping list to guide neuro-typicals who want to please their loved ones.

This is a repost from ten years ago. So the pricetags have probably changed. But the links have been checked.

Crazy Meds can be your one stop shopping for Straight Jacket T-shirts, when you're crazy enough to let your medication do the talking, with a range of messages for any diagnosis, medication or level of in your face. The lettering is made by arranging real medication capsules for that homemade, from the heart touch. If you are shopping for me, medium size, long-sleeved, and black, of course.  My favorite message: Bat Shit Crazy.  In three years nobody ever took the hint, so I finally bought it myself.  If you are shopping for me, today I'll go with Mentally Interesting.  I'm still into black, and still refusing antipsychotics, so still a medium.

The following gift suggestions are targeted to differential diagnoses.

Giving Thanks for Ellen Frank

If you can manage one, just one self-care exercise for bipolar, make it a regular sleep schedule. This week I am thankful I found Ellen Frank and IPSRT, Interpersonal Social Rhythms Therapy.

IPSRT in a nutshell: people with bipolar have a wonky internal clock. The hormones that regulate everything from when we are alert to when we are hungry to when we are cold are governed by an internal clock. When that clock sproings a spring, so do we. Bipolar is like jet lag on a daily basis.

There are a number of events that set and reset the clock throughout the day. If you have a wonky clock, you can reduce the damage it does by making sure these events happen the same time every day. That is the Social Rhythms part. The Interpersonal part is plain old therapy, focussing on whatever issues prevent you from protecting your clock.

Keeping this clock set correctly is the single most effective strategy for maintaining good sleep patterns. And sleep patterns are almost the whole show. Disruptions cause cascading effects: increased inflammation, cognitive difficulties, irritability, emotional lability, depression, hypomania, mania, all three, weight gain... Somebody has probably written the book. I will write the testimonial, that when my sleep is in order, so am I. Ellen Frank focussed my attention on that #1 strategy. When the meds didn't work, she saved my butt.

Several years ago, I wrote the more detailed version of IPSRT in a review of Frank's Treating Bipolar Disorder, three posts to explain the theory and one summary review. So here it is reposted, with links to the earlier posts within it. 

Treating Bipolar Disorder Part IV -- Summing Up
May 4, 2011

Intending to review Ellen Frank's Treating Bipolar Disorder,  I spent most of April describing the treatment itself, Interpersonal Social Rhythms Therapy, IPSRT.

Part I laid the foundation in work done on the relationship between circadian rhythms (our interior physiological clocks) and mood disorders.

Part II outlined Frank's Social Zeitgeber Theory and the treatment that proceeds logically from it, a process of establishing regular daily rhythms that set our interior clocks and keep them running on time.  (Zeitgeber means timekeeper.)

Part III explained how work on interpersonal issues helps people reduce stressors and prevent disruptions to their social rhythms.

This last post will pull together my appreciation, my reservations and my hopes for future directions.

Social Zeitgeber Theory

Frank builds IPSRT on the theory that people with bipolar are more vulnerable than others to disruptions in our circadian rhythms.  When our interior clocks get screwed up, we do, too.  Daily events, like getting up at a certain time, seeing people, going to work, set our circadian rhythms.  The core of the therapy is to help keep our rhythms regular.

The best brilliant part of Treating Bipolar Disorder is this theory.

A good theory accounts for as much of the data as possible, and then provides a way to solve problems.

The old theory is bipolar is a chemical imbalance in the brain.  The advantages of the old theory is that it is simple, it suggests a way to solve the problem, and it is earning the pharmaceutical companies billions and billions of dollars.  The disadvantages are that decades after it was first offered, it has offered false hope and subsequent despair to millions of sufferers, focused blame on those who won't take the drugs that make them sick and/or don't work, and for a majority of people who receive the best pharmacotherapy possible, simply failed to fix the problem.  It also neglects a lot of data.

The chemical imbalance theory comes from the data of clinical experiments -- that symptoms go away when you change the chemical stew.  Or at least, they go away enough to get FDA approval for marketing claims.  It does explain a piece of the puzzle.

But another set of data has to do with what was going on before the symptoms developed.  Frank and company turn to circadian rhythms to account for how the chemical imbalance developed.  And here there is a wealth of data.  For example, study of circadian rhythms reveals that lack of sleep causes depression as often as it is caused by depression.  This suggests a whole other way to solve problems.

Treating Bipolar Disorder documents this evidence in support of the theory.  Most of the book then describes the therapy that derives from the theory.

People With Bipolar Who Are Doing Well

The Social Zeitgeber Theory accounts for the data of those with bipolar disorder who are managing their symptoms, working, thriving over the long haul.  There are almost no studies done from this angle -- what people are doing to stay well.  John McManamy reports on two of these studies at mcmanweb.com.  Healthy lifestyle is the top strategy for these people, particularly maintaining good sleep.  Most, 85% take medication, but do not make medication the center of their self-care.  None rely entirely on medication to stay healthy.

Medication, Medication, Medication

My chief reservation about the book has to do with its assumptions about medication.

Let me put it this way.  It is a bold move to list the uses of specific medications in a hard copy printed published book.  Chances are that such a book will report positively on a medication for which the manufacturer then settles a class action suit in the same year as publication.  Zyprexa/olazapine is just one example of how quickly the chapter's information became debatable and/or dated.

Frank assumes that IPSRT is an add-on to pharmacotherapy.  She notes that lithium, the miracle drug that was supposed to have solved the problem of bipolar has turned out not to have done so in near as many cases as people think.  She acknowledges that there are problems with side effects and efficacy for anything that is currently in use.  But just barely.

Unfortunately, it is only a minority of patients with bipolar disorder who can comfortably take the medications that seem to control the symptoms of the illness and who are willing to submit to this control.  Especially early in the course of the illness, before it has wrought complete havoc in the patient's life, there is denial that there is anything permanently wrong and a longing for the highs that the medications take away.

Yup.  There it is.  Ellen Frank, too.  They miss their highs.  I won't go there right now.  It's just too tiresome.  But stay tuned...

Frank continues the clinicians' tradition of oversell.  She considers whether a clinician should refuse to work with a person who has bipolar I and does not take medication.  Her recommendation is that the work might proceed anyway, with the goal of revisiting the issue at every opportunity until the patient finally does take meds,and holding open the possibility that treatment may be terminated if the clinician concludes that he/she cannot accept responsibility for somebody who is not on meds.

Okay, on a positive note, Frank pays more attention to side effects than other clinicians, repeatedly urging that the therapist and prescribing clinician work in partnership, and that medication problems be addressed.

On a very positive note, Frank spends a lot of ink on the issue that people with bipolar I or II spend way more time depressed than manic and hypomanic.  And our depressions are far and away the part of the illness that disables us.

Can We Ever Crack This Medication Nut?

This medication debate never seems to get anywhere.  Like abortion or the Palestinian issue in US politics, nuance is not allowed.  You're either pro-med or anti-psychiatry.  And I can feel myself drawn into the blogosphere's quicksand.  So let me do the down and dirty on Frank's position and get out of here.

Frank's assumption that everybody who has bipolar I and not on meds is a trainwreck waiting to happen -- maybe that is a necessary evil to maintain her professional credibility; maybe more of the usual professional wishful thinking: I call it disappointing.


Frank's repetition of the old they miss their highs thing: I call it tiresome.



Frank's concern to take side effects seriously and her criticism of the standard practice of medicating people with bipolar into a permanent state of mild depression, treating anything approaching a normal feel-good state as a danger sign of impending mania: I call that refreshing. 

Clinical Language Alert

I have spent the last several years reading books and articles written not for me, but about me.  It is a perilous business.  Prozac Monologue readers occasionally are on the receiving end of my efforts to manage the consequences of this endeavor.  It is getting less perilous, as I learn some skills, the first of which is simply to acknowledge the intended audience.  So...

Treating Bipolar Disorder is written for clinicians and about people with bipolar.  I am not a clinician; I am a person with bipolar.  Therefore, Treating Bipolar Disorder is not for me; it is about me.

If you are like me, you need to take this into account when reading this book.

Having said that, this book is less perilous than others.

Yes, there are a couple bumps in the road: the bipolar temperament, the attitude of entitlement and they miss their highs.  For the record, Frank never uses those exact words.  Her exact words are above.

On the other hand, this book is exceptional in its tone of respect and genuine partnership between clinician and patient.  Absolutely exceptional.  Props to Ellen Frank.

The Future Of IPSRT

Like I said, this book was written for clinicians, who are addressed directly.  It was not written for people who have bipolar disorder, nor for a general audience.  There is no book, no pamphlet, no article, no website, no youtube that describes IPSRT for a general audience.  Prozac Monologues is as close as you get.  Not enough for a do-it-yourself-er.  But a start.

At this point, getting access to this therapy would be a trick.  If you use one of those Find a Therapist websites and actually do find one in your area whose interests include bipolar, you are still likely to get the response I got, The way to treat bipolar is with medication.

Frank and company keep track of those they have trained.  She says maybe she should develop a website.  A lot of people think maybe they should develop a website.  Most of them have many other things to do.  I wouldn't hold my breath.  I would write her directly and ask.  And then come up with a do-it-yourself strategy.  I have one outlined below.

Frank has the support of NIMH's STEP-BD study giving IPSRT the magic label of evidence-based.  So she has a therapy, a book, a training.  And 5,700,000 people who could benefit from this treatment.  She needs to develop the market for her training the same way pharmaceutical companies develop their markets -- go directly to us 5,700,000 people with bipolar.

There's a whole world of people out here who get our mental health care from Facebook friends and [Name Your Diagnosis and/or Treatment] for Dummies.  We need an IPSRT for Dummies.  We need a workbook.  Once we get started, we'll ask for help, and our care providers might get interested.

Here is my story: The meds don't work.  I have been stalled in Cognitive Therapy for some co-morbid trauma issues.  I don't have the capacity to interview a bunch of therapists who might deal with my bipolar, even if I could find them.  I lose my voice when I talk with therapists -- back to those trauma issues.  So I went back to my CBT therapist.  We are renegotiating to do more interpersonal work and I am experimenting on my own SRT/Mood Chart.  I will do the SRT part on my own.  My therapist and I can talk about my grief for the formerly healthy self.

You have to really have it together to do therapy this way.  I am not starting from a position of crisis.  I have good insurance and a lot of resources.  My wife tells me, if I have lost half of my cognitive functioning, that still makes me smarter than 80% of the people in the room.

So this might work for me and maybe another 100,000 high functioners out there.  5,600,000 more to go.

On July 14, 1990 Ellen Frank knew with absolute certainty that [she] needed to dedicate the next decade of [her] life to doing better by these patients and family members.  It was a decade well spent.  And then another.  I hope she keeps going into the third.

Last Words

If you are a person living with bipolar disorder, cut the author a break for the inevitable mental health provider mentality.  The medication issue is a minor, minor piece of an otherwise helpful, hopeful book.

Treating Bipolar Disorder offers hope.  Read it.  Talk to your therapist about it.  Get yourself a schedule that includes enough sleep at a regular time each day.  Talk with your therapist about whatever keeps you from doing that.

If you are a therapist, read this book.  Give its techniques a try.  If they help somebody, don't you need some CEU's?

If you are a doctor, read this book.  Stop promising more from meds than meds can deliver.  There is more help out there for your patients.  Help us find it.

If you are Ellen Frank, get this stuff out to those of us who can't find or afford a therapist whom you have trained.  And God bless you.

photo of clockworks by HNH and used under the Creative CommonsAttribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license
flair from facebook
caution sign by RTCNCA and used under the GNU Free Documentation License,

Giving Thanks for John McManamy

John McManamy was my introduction to the concept of expert patient, a mental illness educator with lived experience and serious chops, research-wise.

Our relationship began not long after Prozac Monologues, the blog began in 2009, with a skunk. How on earth did I find his tale of too-close-but-thankfully-not-the-worst-sort-of-too-close encounter with a skunk? Probably I googled amygdala. That tells who John is right there. You want to know about amygdala? John will tell you a story about a skunk.

Got Bipolar 2? Chris Aiken Can Help

If you want to know best practices for treating bipolar, "bipolar not so much," recurrent depression, "more than depression," "something-about-this-depression-treatment-just-isn't-working," read  Chris Aiken.

When I needed a subtitle for my book, I tried really hard to sell my publisher on What if it's more than depression? - a subtle reference to Bipolar Not So Much by Aiken and Jim Phelps, who is another of my mental health go-to resources. I flatter myself that Prozac Monologues is the companion piece, written from the other side of the prescription pad. The publisher had something else in mind, but if you find one book useful, you will like the other.

When my new nurse practitioner talked me into a chart review by the cookie cutter psychiatrist employed by the practice, the recommendation came back, Abilify and Zoloft. I said, No thanks, and sent her an article by Aiken. I hope it helps my NP get over her Free-Range Bipolar on Aisle 2 (i.e., non-medicated) panic before my next appointment. Aiken reports that Social Rhythms Therapy (my lifeline for years) can be as effective as medication, without the sedating effects that would have ended my writing career. Not to mention most other reasons to get up in the morning. Or even capacity to get up in the morning.

Bipolar, Not So Much - A Review

Recurrent depression, treatment-resistant depression, depression with mixed features, cyclothymic disorder -- if your file at the doctor's office is coded for any of these, my heart goes out to you. Chances are you have taken a number of turns around the antidepressant not-so-merry-go-round. I call it "The Chemistry Experiment," and you are the test tube.


Chris Aiken and James Phelps have written the book for you. Bipolar, Not So Much: Understanding Your Mood Swings and Depression introduces the reader to the Bipolar Spectrum. No, they are not talking about the movie version of bipolar, throwing furniture out the window, driving the car into the river... They mean the vast ground between that and your basic depression. They mean depression - with something more.

The authors use a conversational style, speaking directly to the reader and skipping the jargon. They begin by explaining the spectrum. They don't ask the question the way the DSM frames it, Does this person have bipolar? Rather, their question is, How much bipolar does this person have?

Like this:



You won't find the spectrum in the DSM, the manual of diagnoses. The DSM’s symptom silos are designed to put you in one slot or another. The silos came into existence in the 1960s. The spectrum approach is much preferred by the acknowledged experts in bipolar, starting with Goodwin and Jamison who also prefer the name manic depression. But in the recent revision,there was huge resistance to making the change back to the earlier understanding of the disorder. Symptom lists with their precise cut off points seem so tidy and are easier to code. So they remain in the DSM-5, and people like Aiken and Phelps write books to try to inform people who don't know anything more about bipolar than the damn lists. But I digress...

Aiken and Phelps take the approach that you will get the best recovery if you know what is actually going on. So first they thoroughly ground the reader in the spectrum concept, and include the diagnostic and predictive instruments that all the docs can access, but usually don't take the time to use. Damn, I am digressing again...

Next they spend a lot of time on lifestyle changes and other nonpharmocological treatment measures. The thing is, the meds were all developed and work best for the folk on the far ends of that spectrum. Which you already know if you are somewhere in the middle, because they don’t work so well for you, which is how you became a Chemistry Experiment. 

Actually, even if you are clearly unipolar or clearly bipolar 1, Aiken and Phelps have good advice for you regarding sleep, diet, exercise, supplements, and the rest. You’re just going to do better if you don’t ask the meds to do all the work. Mood disorders are more complicated than that mythological chemical imbalance. 

The book's third section is a thorough listing and discussion of all the meds. They have their favorites which may be different from your doctor’s, because they don’t talk to drug reps nor read the ads. They read (and do) the research. Are you getting the sense that I have an agenda here?

Bipolar, Not So Much is the essential resource for for anybody who has depression and maybe something more. It is backed up by Phelp's excellent website PsychEducation.org. It is a humane book by humane doctors who listen and learn from their patients. What a concept, huh? Their dedication page tells the tale:


To our patients. You showed us what life is like in the mood spectrum, and we hope we got it right, or at least close, in this book.

flair from Facebook.com
book cover from Amazon.com
bipolar spectrum graphic from PsychEducation.com.

Bipolar and Mitochondria

Misfirings and mis-timings of a number of systems affecting: hormones, neurotransmitters, and immune system cycles that go off-kilter; glitches in communication between brain cells and within brain cells; and wonky wiring among the networks that connect the thinking, feeling, and evaluating parts of the brain -- that's bipolar disorder in a nutshell.  Okay, a very full nutshell.  Last week I explored one example of hormone cycles gone off-kilter, cortisol.

This week, we go inside cells to discuss my favorite little critters, mitochondria.  I first learned about mitochondria from Madeleine L'Engle, from the second of her Wrinkle in Time series, A Wind in the Door.  Charles Wallace is sick, dying, because of a problem inside his cells.  His mitochondria are not doing their job.

Mitochondria are organisms (technically, organelles) that crawled inside the cells of animals back when animals were being formed out of the ooze.  It is a beautiful relationship.  We are their hosts and meal ticket; they are the power plants that convert food into energy.  If they don't work well, neither do we.  Since the brain uses bucket loads of energy, a problem with energy production has serious consequences for anything the brain is supposed to do.

What Do Mitochondria Do?

Bipolar and Cortisol

Y'all know about Bipolar as the mood disorder of Up and Down.  You have seen the movies, watched the soap operas and dramas.  The medications promise to reduce the number of trips around the loop de loop.

That's important, because what goes up must come down, and the fall can be mighty.  But there is more to is that that.

In a person with bipolar, a whole series of mis-timings and misalignments in our internal and external cycles results in a failure to maintain balance.  The list includes: dysregulation of hormones, neurotransmitters, and immune system; irregularities in communication between brain cells and within brain cells; and wonky wiring among the networks that connect the thinking, feeling, and evaluating parts of the brain.

In other words,


Over the next few weeks, I will sample this list, especially the items that are true all the time, even when not on that roller coaster.

Dysregulation of cortisol is one of my favorites, to use the term loosely.  Cortisol is the get-up-and-go hormone.  It gets you out of bed in the morning and manages energy throughout the day in response to stress.

Demi Lovato -- Bipolar Warrior

The news story caught my ear.  I don't usually follow celebrity news.  But I had just read an article about Demi Lovato in a NAMI magazine.  I listened for some report of who she is and what she represents.  I wondered about a recent depression, a suicide attempt, perhaps.

Nope, not a word.  Celebrity drug overdose.  That's the story.  I swear they wrote this story thirty years ago, periodically pull up the file, change the name, and post.

She deserves better.  I'll just have to write my own post.

Lovato has long been open about her mental illnesses, bipolar, bulimia, self harm, drug abuse, and alcoholism.  Her celebrity as a pop star is significant to the story in one way.  It has given her a voice to advocate for those who have no voice.

Celebrity is not a risk factor for substance abuse.  But an alcoholic father is.  She has the genetic load to develop the condition.

Celebrity is not a risk factor for substance abuse.  But childhood trauma is.  She was bullied as a child, to the point of resorting to home schooling.

Celebrity is not a risk factor for bipolar, either.  But substance abuse and bipolar do often go together.  56% of people with bipolar struggle with addiction.  Why so many?  There are three potential explanations:

World Bipolar Day and the Color Red

Prozac Monologues -- the book -- is coming!  It really is.  Well, a chapter and a half still to go.


Here is a sneak peak that may answer the burning question,

Why are you wearing red on World Bipolar Day?  

It's called:
Three

Have you ever noticed -- flight of ideas, distraction, talking fast/pressure to keep talking -- these are symptoms of a serious mental disorder (we're talking the manic phase of bipolar here) and also kind of -- fun.

Not Just Up and Down -- A New Map for Bipolar


Last week a friend told me she had just been diagnosed with bipolar.  I remember eight years ago when she told me she was finally getting treatment for depression.  I didn't say it at the time, but for the next several days my brain was screaming it: Really?  In 2016 people are still being misdiagnosed, and mis-treated, mistreated with meds that make them worse.  I mean, 


F*cking Really?!!

Lives are at stake here, people.  Careers, families, credit, and yes, lives. That is what people lose when their doctors get this call wrong.

Return to the Chemistry Experiment

What is it like, this chemistry experiment, you ask.  Somebody did ask, honest.

Prozac Monologues strives to be journalism, not journaling.  I write for education (mine first, then yours), not for therapy.  So when the story turns to the Chemistry Experiment, a topic I write about so often, it gets its own label, I have tried to season my prose only lightly with my personal story.

But the Chemistry Experiment has been excruciatingly personal these last several weeks.  And nowadays, the personal story is one way that journalists frame their reporting.  So here goes.

Fabulous People With Schizophrenia

People With Schizophrenia Who Recover

My guess is you don't know people with schizophrenia who have jobs, own their homes, are married and join clubs and congregations.  My guess is, even if you work in the field or volunteer in homeless shelters, you do not count among your friends, your real friends, the ones you invite to your house for dinner, anybody with schizophrenia.

My guess is you do not know that such a thing is possible.

Lionel Aldridge decided to change that.  Lionel Aldridge played defense for the Green Bay Packers and won two Super Bowl rings.  (Go Cheeseheads!)  He lost them when schizophrenia took his life out of control.  Literally, his ring fell off his hand; he couldn't find it in the gutter.

But he came back.  He got treatment.  He vowed that if he got better, he would not remain silent, so that other people with schizophrenia would know they are not alone, so they would know they could recover, and so you would know that, too.  His story is in this link.

Inductive Research

Flight of Ideas

Pride of lions
Fleet of ships
Host of angels...

Flight of ideas.

It's a lovely phrase.  Isn't that what ideas do -- fly?

I think so.  But evidently, not everybody.


A Visit from the Goon Squad

I was looking to meet new people in my new home town, and went to the library's book club.  The selection for my second meeting was Jennifer Egan's A Visit from the Goon Squad.  Sex, drugs, rock and roll, and, oh yes, suicide -- these characters were my tribe!  No, I haven't lived their lives.  More to the point, I have asked their questions.

I wasn't sure how Egan's characters would be received in this group of middle-aged and older women.  I didn't know the book club members yet, but they seemed pretty respectable.  Then again, I can seem pretty respectable, too.  I expected a lively discussion.

Nope.  No lively discussion.  No discussion at all.  They were so dismayed, they were speechless.  The librarian resorted to reading reviews.

More on Mood Charts

This is my personalized mood chart.


You can find a larger and clearer image here. It was inspired by the one my mental health insurance provider sent me when I began taking mood stabilizers. Last week I described how their chart works and how people with mood disorders benefit from using any of the great variety out there.

Cigna's chart primarily tracks mood. Using theirs, I learned that lamotrigine made a difference to the course of my symptoms. After years of inappropriate prescriptions of antidepressants, I had moved to rapid cycling. No, rapid cycling means several cycles in a year. More like, I was spinning, from the depths of depression to raging agitation within each week, week after week. Lamotrigine did modify that pattern. It stretched the cycles, down from four to two a month. By recording the pattern, eventually I concluded, and I had the evidence to support it to my doctor, that the costs of the medication (dizziness, fourteen hours of sleep and grogginess a day, losing words) outweighed the benefits.

More Than Mood

But Cigna's chart was missing vital information. Mood dysregulation was only part of my experience. It was the agitation, sense of urgency, poor concentration, lack of sleep that put me on the disability roles. And, I began to suspect, these disturbances in energy levels were driving my suicidal thoughts as much as my depression was.

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